How can we talk about death?

Talking about death can feel both frightening and uncomfortable, yet it is a natural part of life. By daring to have these conversations, we not only clarify our own wishes and values, but also reduce the risk of misunderstandings and difficult decisions in the future.

You may want to reflect on who should speak for you if you can no longer speak for yourself, and what would matter most to you in the final chapter of your life. Is it more important to be free from pain, even if that means not being fully alert? Would you prefer to be at home or in a hospital as the end approaches? How important is it for you to know what will happen to your body after death?

Below are some statements that can help start talking about death and the last time of life.

• Not to be in pain
• Not having difficulty breathing
• Getting to be clean and tidy
• Not feeling worry or anxiety
• To feel human touch
• That my loved ones are prepared for my death
• Dying at home
• Taking leave of people who are important to me
• Remembering what I have done and accomplished in life
• Working out unfinished things with others
• To be treated the way I wish
• To maintain my dignity
• Maintaining my sense of humor
• To be surrounded by good friends
• Having someone who listens to me
• Having my funeral planned
• Not getting hooked up to medical devices
• That there is someone who speaks my language
• Knowing how my body will be cared for after death

There is also a deck of cards called DöBra, which can help with similar reflections. It was developed in the USA and translated and adapted to Swedish conditions within the research programme DöBRA at Karolinska Institutet and Umeå University. The deck is available for purchase at bookstores.